The next instalment in my recent series of rants takes inspiration from a great many expats, those who regularly vacation in Thailand, those who regular post to Thai Visa and, to a far lesser extent, those people who would email me in the days when my email address was listed on this blog.
All are people searching for a Thai wife.
[This, in itself, really bothers me...but that is for a future rant]
So here is Jonny Foreigner's simple guide to finding 'your ideal Thai wife'.
But before I begin, any guesses on location?
[Hint: the answer is closer than you think.]
Drum roll please...
The answer is...she is outside of Thailand.
I'm not basing this on my own experience (I met my wife whilst she was studying/working in London) but instead the following factors which negate the most common issues in farang-Thai relationships (pulling no punches).
1. She speaks YOUR language
Living abroad your potential partner is likely to be fluent, or at the least capable, in your native language which overcomes the language barrier, one of the biggest hurdles many farang face when dating Thais.
This may be intimidating to some men who like to take control, and enjoy the position of knowing their woman's English means she must lean on them. But for most of us, who aren't (yet...I WILL get there) fluent Thai speakers, the Missus' ability to speak English is crucial.
2. She isn't poor
If you meet your Thai partner when she is abroad the chance are she, and her family, are not poor. It doesn't mean they are rich, but even owning a passport and passing visa requirements is not easily and indicates family life is comfortable at the least.
The importance of this may seem harsh, but boy is it true...you try switching Western comforts for a life in a remote areas (like Issan) where life is far from what you are used to, or could even imagine. Having lots of foreign cash won't much change the dynamic of life, though granny might finally get a roof which doesn't leak. Yup, it takes a special type of person to be able to adapt to a differential scenario in Issan, or even Bangkok.
Plus, most importantly, if your women is not poor she is less likely to be after your money...the classic X factor in many farang-Thai relationships. How many men would give for that?
Probably less than you think...might be a little harder landing a women who doesn't need Jonny's big farang bucks to give her a better quality of life.
3. She is educated
Again, similar to my poverty point, your expatriated single Thai is educated to degree level (typically) such are the requirements of visas.
Her education is likely to put her on a similar level as you, giving your relationship more balance and equality.
For me, this is perhaps the most important factor. Yes, my wife is Thai but she isn't 'A Thai Wife'; in fact, if you disregard the aesthetics for a second, you'd be forgiven for thinking she was Western.
Do all men like to be on an even intellectual platform as their partner? What about in Thailand? Hmmm...I think many accept, and perhaps even embrace, the imbalance. Am I wrong?
4. She has left Thailand
Precious few Thais actually own passports, "travel broadens the mind" so if your partner has travelled and lived abroad the chances are you are getting a partner who is more likely be on a similar wave-length...of course men and women cannot occupy the same wave-length, any fool knows that.
However
Finding your Thai women outside of Thailand is a great deal harder than just turning up in Thailand as a foreigner. Suddenly all the men around you have the appeal of farang-white skin, domestic wages/saving, etc.
No doubt the old fellas who strut across Pattaya beach hand-in-hand with a twenty-something lass will struggle to replicate this in their own country, but, if we're trading cliches on where to meet Thai women, mine is your local bar, book shop, park or anywhere you meet local women at home.
Disclaimer: I'm not being overly cynical, just generalising. Of course, some foreigners do meet Thais who are less educated, poorer, less travelled (etc) and live happily ever after...but I suspect many expats have a different story to tell.
Btw, Thai Square in London is a great place
